Subtle Butt

I seriously cant believe they sell something like this. Can you imagine being like "Mom, Dad... guess what I did... I created this great product! You were my inspiration!"


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Weekly Billie Jean

I am going to start a weekly post for Billie Jean pictures. Here she is wondering what Mom is doing on that white thing on her lap. Thats were I sit so damnit I am going to figure out why its more fun than me. I'm not impressed so far.

Fun with Pictures

My new MacBook has a program called PhotoBooth. I brought the laptop to my parents house and had some fun. My mom, and my Youngest Skinniest Sister had some fun with me. Below are some of the results. We took over 40 pictures and couldnt hardly breathe afterwards. My dad was watching football and would randomly (really just during commercials) ask us what the hell we were doing out there. We never replied. We just kept laughing. hehe

my new toy

I am typing this post on my new MacBook!! Brett and I bought it on Friday night and I set everything up while he was watching the Celtics. Its a little different from my work laptop thats about 15 pounds and shuts off for no reason. It also likes to freak out on me and the fan screams at me. Its pretty shitty. Its better than the POS that they gave me to work from home with. I was lucky - at least I got one. I got it the day before I left. There is a good quote on a co-workers white board. It says "All I know is that I am leaving tomorrow and Leonard is giving me a laptop." thats all I knew. hehe

I stole wireless from some random Ohio people that lived in my apartment complex for almost a year. Yup - I worked from home on borrowed wireless the entire time. At the new place I figured out that setting up wireless was about a 10 min job. Oh well. hehe

So I'm excited about our new toy. Watching sports will be much easier ie I dont actually have to watch them! heheh

Blue Paws

Last night I came home and read the note from the dog walker. It went something like this.

"Billie Jean LOVES the snow! She had a great time outside. I did find her chewing on a pen (now on TV) which would explain the blue paws. -Anne"

I walked over to my dog who was in belly rub position and looked at her paws. They were so blue it looked like she dipped them in blue dye. She was all happy and hanging out just waiting for me to be home. She ate the pen like 7 hours before that so there was no chance that she'd ever have any clue why i was mad so I didn't get mad. I just rubbed her belly while she bit my arm and licked my hand.

Man Cold

This is hysterical only because its so horribly true. The "man cold" is a real devastating condition that both my father and my husband have both had. My father - the man who was in Vietnam for several years is the biggest baby on the face of this earth when it comes to being sick. The moans can be heard down the street and all of us kids (even though we are grown) are required to do ANYTHING to help him. My mother could be on her death bed but my dad has a cold and she is his slave for 24 hours.

My husband is a bit better but not by much. The big Coast Guard guy becomes a little baby when sick. I am required to buy him weird liquid concoctions that "make him feel better" and feed him food. His legs cant possibly lift up to let me sit on the couch so I sit on the edge and lean back over his legs. Speaking of his legs I also need to rub them. It makes him feel better. Poor poor sick men.

makes me sick

So I was doing research on Mommy Blogs for work. I got a list from a PR agency of influential mommy blogs and one of them was Dooce. This woman is hysterical and smart and she swears (come on Mommy's - you swear like a truck driver and I know it). The blogger on Dooce just got a new puppy. This is what made me sick.

On her site she has many forms of advertising. One of them is Google Adwords. I have nothing against Google but I saw something that made me uneasy. I saw multiple ads for Laughlin Kennels in Massachusetts. This is where we got Billie Jean. I couldn't get it out of my head that this place was a Puppy Mill when we bought her but she seemed normal and we ended up getting AKC papers on her so that calmed my nerves. This place has ads for Pugs and Whoodles (whatever that is) all over this blog. I hate the fact that we got her there and that they just pimp out these dogs all over the Internet. Poor puppies riding on the Puppy Bus from somewhere in the Midwest. I need to get over it but I just cant. I even looked up this kennel in the Better Business Bureau when we got her because I was so freaked out. It checked out with some random complaints and comments but nothing big. Then on Bulldog MeetUp everyone talks about this place and how its a Mill. Poor Billie Jean was brought to us by this gross place. At least she's a happy Human Dog.

What do you guys think? I think I just need to get over it. My desire to get a dog NOW was more important than getting one from a local breeder. Shame on me. I will never do it again.

Busy Lately

Hey everyone. I haven't had anything to post lately. Here are a couple Mini Posts to keep you busy.

Writers Strike
When is this going to be over. If LOST starts and then ends after 3 episodes with some crazy-ass cliff hanger I am going to me maadddd! Thankfully there are some new episodes of some of my old favorites to keep me busy.

Dog not a Human
So Brett thinks the dog is a human. She sleeps in the bed with us. Not at the foot of the bed but with her head on a pillow and her ass under covers. She is now much happier because we are allowing her to roam the house instead of being locked up in the bedroom. We come home every single time to the dog sleeping on many blanket on the couch. She's Brett in dog form. Also she has a problem. She is one of those dogs that eats everything. Last night it was: 1. food in tin foil 2. rusty screw 3. leaves 4. orange found on street 5. gum stuck on sidewalk 6. something that looked like throw up. If we don't watch her constantly she will eat everything. She's like those people I see on TV that eat the cotton balls and medical instruments while they are in the hospital. Pretty sure that was on Grey's Anatomy once.

Chatty Cathy
At The Agency there are lets say "people" that wont shut up. They have NO CLUE what they are talking about yet that thought never enters into their mind. They will continue to speak about nothing. These "people" also cut you off and also refuse to acknowledge that you attempted to speak. I will do the open my mouth and try to speak thing and then "people" just look at someone else and continue talking. I want to kill myself. I think my new years resolution is to only say things of value. "People" should do the same. No one wants to hear you talk as much as you think they do. Trust me!

Expensive my butt!
So I have posted before that I buy expensive jeans. I just recently lost both of my pairs of expensive jeans. One of them busted on the outside seam of my Thunder Thigh and the other had two large rips on either side of my inside thigh. It happened within 2 weeks of each other. $250 to rip after a little over a year and a half of wearing them. So - after I noticed the inside rips (at the Celtics game in the bathroom with a whole second half left) I was so angry. I then looked at my two new pairs of Jeans (same brands) that I bought 2 months ago are already wearing thin on the inside thigh area. So I whipped out my jean patches and ironed those bitches on. Today I am sporting my new "diaper jeans" that make me feel like I just pooped in my pants. Yes my patches feel like a nice layer of depends on my legs. Awesome huh? $90 jeans = depends fun. I hate my Thunder Thighs. My mom and my grandmother owe me some jeans because of my genes!