Krav Maga Part 2

So today I went to an intro session for Krav Maga. I figured I had not taken a class since November so it was a good opportunity to go back. It was great. I didnt feel like i was going to die after the first class last time. I was great. I even looked good sweating.

So I signed up for 6 months. Its quite expensive and after the new transmission the Honda needs I'm pretty sure Brett's going to put me on a no spending lock down.

I do think I need something and its perfect to get me energized about getting a bathing suit body. Notice I didnt say bikini. hahaha now that would be a miracle!

My friend Amy is also taking a month worth of classes with me before she is transferred to Seattle.

Obviously I want to do it for the confidence and exercise but i also think its a pretty cool skill to have. I feel cool and tough. Is that bad? Who doesnt want to feel cool and tough?

Now I just hope I dont get any bruises like this one before I have to attend my summer weddings or events. oops.

Happy St.Patty's Day

The old black homeless man in the T was singing Danny Boy this morning. I guess its St.Patty's day where even the black homeless dudes in Boston are Irish!

I am not wearing green b/c the shirt did not look OK with the pants I had on and I didn't want to iron again. I am wearing my green emerald shamrock earrings. OR should I say my mothers green emerald shamrock earrings. I love these things. I wear them once a year and I just love it. I also think my sisters are pissed that I have these in my possession. ha ha ladies!

Later today I am going to a Coast Guard Spouse's Association event for St.Patty's day. I'm not so sure how I feel about the Coastie Wives after this incident but I will give it another try.

"oh Danny Boy!"

So for the past couple of days I have been wondering why I feel so weird. I sit weird. I walk weird. My clothes feel weird. I have constant weggies. Then today I figured it out. I'm getting fatter on one single side of my ass. I literally have a fat ass... on the right. I officially have a lopsided ass.

How do I suck the fat out of a single ass cheek?

Sasha claims I'm lucky to even have an ass. I told her she just thinks that because hers are evenly distributed. If she had a lopsided ass then maybe she wouldn't think I was so lucky. Then... we'd be soul sisters. Ass sisters.

So for all you people who don't believe me I took some Photo Booth pics. To PROVE my ass-ets aren't the same.









I was able to get Billies ass into this second one. She has a more symmetrical ass with cowlicks in her hair. Its a very cute ass.

Fashion + Jaci = Fear

My new agency has a lot of fashion clients. Every week it seems we are meeting with new fashion clients. Its a really new world for me and its very exciting. Last week I was in NY for a new business meeting for a great fashion brand. I was told I was traveling to NY on Monday and the meeting was the next afternoon. Obviously I made myself available but then started freaking out about what to wear. The last new biz meeting I went to I was one of the 4 people in the meeting wearing a black turtleneck. The owner of the fashion company asked us if "we were attending his F**king funeral". It was pretty funny but I was quite mortified. No more black turtlenecks.

The professional world has gotten more casual. I think a lot of people at my agency and other local agencies wear jeans every day. I am not that person. I have issues feeling professional in jeans.

Monday night after work I went out shopping for an outfit to wear. I was not wearing another black turtleneck. I tried on literally every dress in the store, suits, and tons of shirts. Literally nothing fit or looked good. I finally ended up with a white button down (so fashionable huh?) and paired it with a nice wool pant and wool jacket I had at home. I dressed it up with a big beaded necklace.

The meeting was great. I left feeling great but wondering If I'd ever fit into this world. I'm not really that funky and I pretty much have only 2-3 nice shirts/pants which means I wear the same thing every week. Oops!

i also dont think this economy will allow me to buy some more fashionable clothes. Does anyone have any tips for me? How do I take a bland closet and make it cool?

Dermablend is my friend

I get hives. All the time. For really any reason. For no reason at all. Its awful. Well... its not THAT awful. Its just really a pain in my ass.

In high school I never really had them - then one awful prom date asked me over to his house so his parents could take enough pictures to wallpaper their house, cottage and car interiors. I looked great. Minus the red blotches ALL over my face and body. That was really D day for me. Since then I have been aware of my hive issues and tried very hard to hide them at all times. Most days that means scarves, turtlenecks and carefully placed hair, hands and folders to hide my neck.

Once during a presentation a friend said that she couldn't pay attention to my speech. She just kept watching my neck and face as tiny little red blotches popped up and then just kept coming until they took over everything in one single red blotch. Good times.

In business my hives are a point of weakness. It shows that I'm nervous even if I'm not really nervous. I have done a pretty good job of hiding them but I cant wear a scarf or turtleneck everyday w out people thinking some odd things. When I worked in San Fran my office colleagues had a poll. A couple people thought I had hickeys or a nasty scar and one thought was that I was really a dude hiding an adams apple. After all I WAS in San Fran.

The good thing is that I can also "hide" them by being tan. My wedding was perfect. Not a blotch in sight because I was perfectly golden tan. I cant do that 365 days a year. A couple of months ago I found out that I can hide my hives with some dermablend makeup. Its a very thick makeup that I used as a teen to hide my tattoo for years. I decided to give it a try for my neck. It worked and I'm happy.

Now I can wear button down shirts and v-neck's w out the fear of the blotches coming out like i have chicken pox. dermablend is my friend. Now I need to find something to hide my fat. Somehow I dont think thats going to be as easy as some makeup. damn.