In no particular order.
1. Why the janitor is not concerned that they are putting the rolls of toilet paper on WRONG every single day. Is this on purpose? To drive me INSANE?
2. There is an obscene amount of women who walk around with their winter jackets and do not take the string out of the back pleat of their jacket. This criss cross stitch is ONLY there so the manufacturer can ship the product and the store can put it on display w out the pleat getting all messed up and needing ironing. The women that walk around with this string in their coats look like huge bubble asses and probably dont realize that they look like assholes. Clearly this one actually really bothers me. Some days I almost want to walk up to these women and tell them.
3. skinny jeans. Unless you are actually really skinny (like my sister in law) these DO NOT LOOK GOOD ON YOU.
4. how are skinny jeans AND wide legs BOTH in fashion right now? I cant keep up.
5. I'm concerned that there is something wrong with me when I prefer Extra to The Evening News. Except this swine flu thing - its fascinating to me and I cant read/see enough about it. Also Pirates. Also fascinating. All other news sucks.
6. How some of the people I see on a daily basis have multiple $2,000 bags. Their closets could be sold to mortgage my condo.
7. Why I still feel the need to drink like im in college.
8. Why when i do drink like i did in college it hurts WAY more.
9. I'm currently obsessed with how enormous my boobs have gotten - why are they bigger? eh! (I'm sure I'll get a few death threats from my not-so-well-endowed friends out there for that one)
10. Baby names. I bet you every time someone has a kid and names it something cute about half of their girlfriends are pissed they didnt get knocked up first to steal the name.
11. I never thought I'd be able to sleep with someone who snores or is a weird sleeper. Apparently now im ok with having a dog sleep on top of my head while snoring very loudly and randomly farting throughout the night.
12. I wish I could get back into making jewelry. I should take a class on how to do it the right way. That way it will be more fun.
13. If i was loaded I'd be a walking Anthropologie catalogue.
14. Brett likes to announce "we're fat" while eating something really bad. Buddy - thats not going to help.
15. I wish I could tell some reps where to go. No, I dont want to meet you if I have never heard of your site/magazine/radio station/ TV station. WHY would you think that would be interesting to me? Do you think I have hours in my day to learn something new? riiigghhhttt. Send me a media kit.
16. Even though I wish I could tell off these reps I am trying to be nice. Sometimes its not easy.
17. My biggest pet peeve about all of these cold calls/emails I get is when someone says "I'm calling about XXX client that XX person told me you run." Oh really - I dont have that client and I dont know that person. Then they openly admit that they were reading off a sheet OR that they just copied the same email over again to send it to me after I call them out on it. Drives me insane.
18. Another thing that drives me insane are those people who dont move out of the way on the subway or bus when you are trying to get out. "Look bitch you arent going to get where you are going any faster until I get off this bus so move your ass"
19. My dog smells good. My parents dogs dont smell good. Is Billie just less oily or something? I touch my parents dog and she smells like "dog". I wash my hands. Its weird.
20. We just got my car fixed - new transmission. This means that Brett will be the first one to get a new car when we need one since mine is all set for years. Not like I wasnt expecting that but now he has a great excuse.
21. I still really want to know who sent me that coconut in high school.
22. If I cant be funny in a facebook status what makes me think that Twitter is ok for me. I think i'll stick to this.
23. I try not to tell people I dont like football. Then i'll never get free tickets. Not a fan of the game but the tailgating is a blast!
24. I fantasize about the places I will live due to moving for the coast guard. most likely i'll live in crappy places but hey its fun to dream huh?
25. do the playboy Girls Next Door really sleep with Hef? I REALLY want to know this. I'm sure you do too.
Thats it! I'm sure I'll have more later... hehe
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Tape Worm
I think I have a tape worm. I'm going to call him Marty. I'm hungry all the time. Its probably just being bored at work but it sucks. Marty is constantly yelling at me and forcing me to think about walking to the ice cream store or eating the candy in the dish in my office. Its no fun. I hate my tape worm.
And nooooo for all of you reading this. I am not with child. This is me. All the time. Starving! Damn you Marty.
And nooooo for all of you reading this. I am not with child. This is me. All the time. Starving! Damn you Marty.
Monday, April 13, 2009
bridesmaid.. hopefully better than the first time
So this weekend I went with my sisters to pick out and try on bridesmaid dresses for Maggie's upcoming nuptials. The place was kinda gross but if the dress is cheap... I'm in!
We tried on several dresses - we should have tried on the really gross ones and taken pics but I wasn't thinking about blog postings on Sat. Sorry blogosphere!
We did find a lovely dress that fit both Dee and I well. The one problem is that my boob-o-licous body was a little well... overflowing from the top. Now most women (including little sis Dee) would say there is not a problem with overflowing boobs but I tend to disagree. They were overflowing into my armpits and didn't really allow me to put my hands to my sides. Hmmm should we have gotten another dress?
My favorite part of this whole experience is the obligatory "you can wear it again!" No, you can rarely ever wear it again. Well, scratch that. You can wear it again but only on Halloween if you are a Drunk Bridesmaid or the Tooth Fairy. I was both of those when I used my first bridesmaid dress which was bubblegum pink with 3 1/2 foot around toole gown with spiky rosettes along the top of the dress. I was a drunk ballerina during the entire wedding. Because the bride was screwing some other dude up to the night before her wedding I decided to get shitfaced and twirl a lot in my ballerina dress while screaming "Im a drunk ballerina! look at me! Im drunk! woo hoo! Look at me twirl!" all while humming the song from the Nutcracker.
We tried on several dresses - we should have tried on the really gross ones and taken pics but I wasn't thinking about blog postings on Sat. Sorry blogosphere!
We did find a lovely dress that fit both Dee and I well. The one problem is that my boob-o-licous body was a little well... overflowing from the top. Now most women (including little sis Dee) would say there is not a problem with overflowing boobs but I tend to disagree. They were overflowing into my armpits and didn't really allow me to put my hands to my sides. Hmmm should we have gotten another dress?
My favorite part of this whole experience is the obligatory "you can wear it again!" No, you can rarely ever wear it again. Well, scratch that. You can wear it again but only on Halloween if you are a Drunk Bridesmaid or the Tooth Fairy. I was both of those when I used my first bridesmaid dress which was bubblegum pink with 3 1/2 foot around toole gown with spiky rosettes along the top of the dress. I was a drunk ballerina during the entire wedding. Because the bride was screwing some other dude up to the night before her wedding I decided to get shitfaced and twirl a lot in my ballerina dress while screaming "Im a drunk ballerina! look at me! Im drunk! woo hoo! Look at me twirl!" all while humming the song from the Nutcracker.
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
A little knowledge and a need for a lot of education
I don't know how I discovered Dooce but a couple of years ago I did and she's really an interesting blogger. I'm in love with her pictures of how she dresses up her dog and the hysterical stories about raising a child and a puppy at the same time.
Today's post was something I wouldn't normally pay much attention to but it was very interesting. I don't have children yet but I do think that I'd want to learn as much about vaccinations as possible. I had many interactions with Autistic children when I worked at a local children's shoe store for years. Many customers came in to have us fit the shoes of their autistic children and knew who should be their sales person depending on gender or personality. This understanding of what their child could or wanted to handle and control I am sure took months and years of education and study. If I saw my child change and take on autistic characteristics after something like a vaccine I would make sure I knew as much as I could.
What I am saying is... I see both sides. I can see the side of the autistic parent who is so passionate about their child's condition that they will try to find any way to make that not happen to anyone else. I can also see the side of most of the population who feel that a child that is not vaccinated could be a danger to many people including young babies and children, the very ill and elderly.
Personally when it is time for me to have children I think I will educate myself. I will see if there is a middle solution that allows my child to be vaccinated but perhaps at a less aggressive schedule of treatment. My husband and his job would force us to travel a lot and that means vaccinations.
The more I write what my opinion is the more I know I need to educate myself. I'm so thankful for blogs and interesting news stories to force me to think and educate myself on issues that I might not be aware of otherwise. yay blogosphere- thanks for making me think twice about the world we live in.
Here is a link to the article again:
http://dooce.com/2009/04/07/word-or-two-about-vaccinations/#comments-start
Today's post was something I wouldn't normally pay much attention to but it was very interesting. I don't have children yet but I do think that I'd want to learn as much about vaccinations as possible. I had many interactions with Autistic children when I worked at a local children's shoe store for years. Many customers came in to have us fit the shoes of their autistic children and knew who should be their sales person depending on gender or personality. This understanding of what their child could or wanted to handle and control I am sure took months and years of education and study. If I saw my child change and take on autistic characteristics after something like a vaccine I would make sure I knew as much as I could.
What I am saying is... I see both sides. I can see the side of the autistic parent who is so passionate about their child's condition that they will try to find any way to make that not happen to anyone else. I can also see the side of most of the population who feel that a child that is not vaccinated could be a danger to many people including young babies and children, the very ill and elderly.
Personally when it is time for me to have children I think I will educate myself. I will see if there is a middle solution that allows my child to be vaccinated but perhaps at a less aggressive schedule of treatment. My husband and his job would force us to travel a lot and that means vaccinations.
The more I write what my opinion is the more I know I need to educate myself. I'm so thankful for blogs and interesting news stories to force me to think and educate myself on issues that I might not be aware of otherwise. yay blogosphere- thanks for making me think twice about the world we live in.
Here is a link to the article again:
http://dooce.com/2009/04/07/word-or-two-about-vaccinations/#comments-start
Monday, April 6, 2009
Ultimate Fighter
my dog thinks she is employed by Vince Mcmahon of the WWE. She is short and stalky and flights well... like a bulldog. She is strategic and doesnt exert herself like other dogs.
Here are a couple of examples of Billie's take down techniques.
1. Ankle Bite - if a dog is running around her and teasing her she will simply sprint after them for a second and bite their back ankle. This is immediate take down where she then pounces on them and bites their ears etc. Hysterical. Dogs dont know its coming.
2. Flying Puppy - this is when she is playing and she is close to a park bench. She jumps on the bench and flys onto the other dog knocking him over. Also hysterical. A real crowd pleaser.
3. Body Slam - since Billie Jean is 50 pounds but only a little over a foot tall she can also just take out dogs by slamming into them. If they are taller she slams into their legs and they fall over. She also can do this to adults. I always keep a wide stance at the dog park so I'm not body slammed by my own dog.
4. Side Slam - Sometimes there are dogs that in playing with Billie Jean they feel the need to run around in a big circle to get away from her. It usually works for a minute until Billie catches them mid circle and side slams them mid run. This is why we call her strategic. She doesnt need to run the full circle - she just finds the point that is closest to her and sprints to the side slam. Works every time.
5. Statue - this is pretty self explanatory. She puts herself in the running path of a dog to take down and just stays there like a statue. The dog doesnt assume she wont join in the running so they plow right into her. She holds her ground (since she's so close to it) and the dog falls over or sometimes launches themselves over her body. This is really funny since Billie normally doesnt flinch throughout the entire thing and the other dog just got flung.
6. Sneak Attack - Billie is really good at making you think she isnt paying attention to you. She does the sneak attack to dogs and humans alike. You will be sitting there minding your own business when she just walks up and bites you. Sneak Attack! She did this to me this morning.
Here are a couple of examples of Billie's take down techniques.
1. Ankle Bite - if a dog is running around her and teasing her she will simply sprint after them for a second and bite their back ankle. This is immediate take down where she then pounces on them and bites their ears etc. Hysterical. Dogs dont know its coming.
2. Flying Puppy - this is when she is playing and she is close to a park bench. She jumps on the bench and flys onto the other dog knocking him over. Also hysterical. A real crowd pleaser.
3. Body Slam - since Billie Jean is 50 pounds but only a little over a foot tall she can also just take out dogs by slamming into them. If they are taller she slams into their legs and they fall over. She also can do this to adults. I always keep a wide stance at the dog park so I'm not body slammed by my own dog.
4. Side Slam - Sometimes there are dogs that in playing with Billie Jean they feel the need to run around in a big circle to get away from her. It usually works for a minute until Billie catches them mid circle and side slams them mid run. This is why we call her strategic. She doesnt need to run the full circle - she just finds the point that is closest to her and sprints to the side slam. Works every time.
5. Statue - this is pretty self explanatory. She puts herself in the running path of a dog to take down and just stays there like a statue. The dog doesnt assume she wont join in the running so they plow right into her. She holds her ground (since she's so close to it) and the dog falls over or sometimes launches themselves over her body. This is really funny since Billie normally doesnt flinch throughout the entire thing and the other dog just got flung.
6. Sneak Attack - Billie is really good at making you think she isnt paying attention to you. She does the sneak attack to dogs and humans alike. You will be sitting there minding your own business when she just walks up and bites you. Sneak Attack! She did this to me this morning.
Stay at Home Mommy
So Brett and I had an interesting talk this weekend. We discussed how when we have kids Brett thinks that one of us should stay home. Since he makes like double my salary it would probably be me. I never in my life thought I'd be the kind of woman who would be a stay at home mom. Not that its a bad thing but I just never was the type - I love to work.
When we were talking it wasn't a big shock to me that Brett said that. Our Coast Guard life can bring us to various places across the country and its possible that I wont be able to work in all of those places. I think that gives me a much better feeling about Brett's thoughts.
If we were living in Boston, NY, SF, Seattle I think I'd have a very difficult time staying home and raising children. Now if we were in Hawaii or Savannah I think I'd feel very differently. I also have a boss now that is a freelancer with my agency in Boston. I see her once a month or sometimes more and I talk to her all day. When her kids are at school we have our client calls and when they are out of school I usually only call her when I have to ask a question. I think I could do that. I could work from home as a part time freelancer for an agency that needs me - regardless of where I live.
When I worked from home before it was an impossible situation with an impossible client. I also felt as though I had no choice but to take that situation and not complain. This time I have a choice and I know better. No one has to suffer that much in their job. No matter the pay. I am at the level in my job where I could be a huge asset (and I do believe I currently am) to any agency. I'd also have my dog to keep me sane and possibly some day some kids to keep me insane.
I guess we'll see what life... or the Coast Guard brings us.
When we were talking it wasn't a big shock to me that Brett said that. Our Coast Guard life can bring us to various places across the country and its possible that I wont be able to work in all of those places. I think that gives me a much better feeling about Brett's thoughts.
If we were living in Boston, NY, SF, Seattle I think I'd have a very difficult time staying home and raising children. Now if we were in Hawaii or Savannah I think I'd feel very differently. I also have a boss now that is a freelancer with my agency in Boston. I see her once a month or sometimes more and I talk to her all day. When her kids are at school we have our client calls and when they are out of school I usually only call her when I have to ask a question. I think I could do that. I could work from home as a part time freelancer for an agency that needs me - regardless of where I live.
When I worked from home before it was an impossible situation with an impossible client. I also felt as though I had no choice but to take that situation and not complain. This time I have a choice and I know better. No one has to suffer that much in their job. No matter the pay. I am at the level in my job where I could be a huge asset (and I do believe I currently am) to any agency. I'd also have my dog to keep me sane and possibly some day some kids to keep me insane.
I guess we'll see what life... or the Coast Guard brings us.
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