Things I Think About

In no particular order.

1. Why the janitor is not concerned that they are putting the rolls of toilet paper on WRONG every single day. Is this on purpose? To drive me INSANE?

2. There is an obscene amount of women who walk around with their winter jackets and do not take the string out of the back pleat of their jacket. This criss cross stitch is ONLY there so the manufacturer can ship the product and the store can put it on display w out the pleat getting all messed up and needing ironing. The women that walk around with this string in their coats look like huge bubble asses and probably dont realize that they look like assholes. Clearly this one actually really bothers me. Some days I almost want to walk up to these women and tell them.

3. skinny jeans. Unless you are actually really skinny (like my sister in law) these DO NOT LOOK GOOD ON YOU.

4. how are skinny jeans AND wide legs BOTH in fashion right now? I cant keep up.

5. I'm concerned that there is something wrong with me when I prefer Extra to The Evening News. Except this swine flu thing - its fascinating to me and I cant read/see enough about it. Also Pirates. Also fascinating. All other news sucks.

6. How some of the people I see on a daily basis have multiple $2,000 bags. Their closets could be sold to mortgage my condo.

7. Why I still feel the need to drink like im in college.

8. Why when i do drink like i did in college it hurts WAY more.

9. I'm currently obsessed with how enormous my boobs have gotten - why are they bigger? eh! (I'm sure I'll get a few death threats from my not-so-well-endowed friends out there for that one)

10. Baby names. I bet you every time someone has a kid and names it something cute about half of their girlfriends are pissed they didnt get knocked up first to steal the name.

11. I never thought I'd be able to sleep with someone who snores or is a weird sleeper. Apparently now im ok with having a dog sleep on top of my head while snoring very loudly and randomly farting throughout the night.

12. I wish I could get back into making jewelry. I should take a class on how to do it the right way. That way it will be more fun.

13. If i was loaded I'd be a walking Anthropologie catalogue.

14. Brett likes to announce "we're fat" while eating something really bad. Buddy - thats not going to help.

15. I wish I could tell some reps where to go. No, I dont want to meet you if I have never heard of your site/magazine/radio station/ TV station. WHY would you think that would be interesting to me? Do you think I have hours in my day to learn something new? riiigghhhttt. Send me a media kit.

16. Even though I wish I could tell off these reps I am trying to be nice. Sometimes its not easy.

17. My biggest pet peeve about all of these cold calls/emails I get is when someone says "I'm calling about XXX client that XX person told me you run." Oh really - I dont have that client and I dont know that person. Then they openly admit that they were reading off a sheet OR that they just copied the same email over again to send it to me after I call them out on it. Drives me insane.

18. Another thing that drives me insane are those people who dont move out of the way on the subway or bus when you are trying to get out. "Look bitch you arent going to get where you are going any faster until I get off this bus so move your ass"

19. My dog smells good. My parents dogs dont smell good. Is Billie just less oily or something? I touch my parents dog and she smells like "dog". I wash my hands. Its weird.

20. We just got my car fixed - new transmission. This means that Brett will be the first one to get a new car when we need one since mine is all set for years. Not like I wasnt expecting that but now he has a great excuse.

21. I still really want to know who sent me that coconut in high school.

22. If I cant be funny in a facebook status what makes me think that Twitter is ok for me. I think i'll stick to this.

23. I try not to tell people I dont like football. Then i'll never get free tickets. Not a fan of the game but the tailgating is a blast!

24. I fantasize about the places I will live due to moving for the coast guard. most likely i'll live in crappy places but hey its fun to dream huh?

25. do the playboy Girls Next Door really sleep with Hef? I REALLY want to know this. I'm sure you do too.

Thats it! I'm sure I'll have more later... hehe